Leeds Mind’s Suicide Bereavement Services explore historic loss. Content warning: suicide loss, grief
Have you ever found yourself thinking about a suicide loss from years (or even decades) ago, and wondering why it still affects you?
This is what we call historical suicide loss. It might be the death of a parent in childhood, a friend from university, or a colleague you lost touch with. You may not have felt close at the time, or life may have simply moved on – but their death had a lasting impact.
The truth is, suicide bereavement does not expire.
The pain, confusion, and unanswered questions can linger quietly for years, sometimes resurfacing during life changes. Grief doesn’t disappear, it just changes shape.
You might carry guilt, confusion, or questions that were never answered. You might feel like you don’t have the “right” to grieve, or that it’s too late to talk about it now.
But it’s not too late.
Many people accessing our service do so after years – sometimes decades – of silent grief. You are not alone. Your loss matters, and support is still available.
When someone dies by suicide, the impact can echo through the years – quietly, powerfully, and often invisibly. That could be because some people were too young at the time to understand what had happened. Others may have felt unable to talk because of stigma, or found the grief too overwhelming to process.
Sometimes, we cope by pushing it to the background, and focus on getting back to “normal.” But those feelings don’t disappear. Returning to them later can feel daunting, but it can also bring a sense of relief, and the beginning of something different.
Suicide loss is complex. It can leave behind guilt, anger, unanswered questions, and a deep sense of disconnection. And these feelings can resurface many years later.
These feelings are valid.
People often say that “time is a healer.” While time can help to a certain extent, healing often comes from being able to acknowledge the impact of the loss – and having the right support to process it.
Suicide loss can shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world. It can influence our mental health, our relationships, and even our sense of identity. Sometimes, we don’t fully realise its impact until much later in life.
You might still wonder if it’s “too late” to reach out. It’s not.
Some people come to our service after a recent loss. Others come after many years. Some are exploring their grief for the first time, while others return to it following a life change – such as becoming a parent, a new relationship, retirement, or another bereavement.
Grief evolves. Your relationship with the person who died can continue to change, even though they’re no longer here. That’s a natural part of grieving, and it’s okay to need support at any point along the way.
Support can help you:
- Make sense of your experience
- Connect with others who understand
- Release long-held guilt or shame
- Rebuild your relationship with the person who died in a healthier way
One of the most powerful parts of our service is peer support. Speaking with someone who has lived through a similar experience can be incredibly validating. You don’t have to explain the unexplainable – they just get it because they’ve been there.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your grief “counts”, it does.
And if you feel ready, we’re here to listen.
Thank you to the team for providing this blog.
Find out more about Leeds Mind’s Suicide Bereavement Services, or get in touch at sbs@leedsmind.org.uk or 0113 305 5800.
